The Beer Rules

An unwritten law, one as immutable and irrefutable as gravity and backed by history, states that skydivers enjoy the drinking of beer almost as much as flight itself. A manifestation of this fact is the tradition of the buying by an individual skydiver a case of beer (that being twenty-four cans or bottles holding twelve or more ounces of beer, ale, or some similar such substance) for his or her fellow jumpers to celebrate the accomplishment of a particular feat or milestone in one's jump career. It is generally recognized that the buying and drinking of such beer enhances that common bond shared by skydivers and contributes greatly to the body of knowledge concerning parachuting and its related activities. It is a sad fact that some skydivers are ignorant of what constitutes a significant achievement (usually and henceforth referred to as a "first"). Equally sad is the fact that some unscrupulously thirsty jumpers will shamelessly try to "weasel" a case of beer out of a jumper for an inauspicious event. Recognizing this, the following happenings are to be regarded as suitable occasions for buying beer. This list is not to be construed as exhaustive. First jump (It is not required of students. They are simply encouraged to participate). If more than one first is accomplished on a single jump, only one case of beer is required. Participation is voluntary. If a skydiver chooses not to participate by buying, neither shall the skydiver enjoy the fruits of the accomplishments of others. Non-drinkers may buy sodas and buyers may make up any part or whole of their purchase in soda for the enjoyment of those non-drinkers. It is generally recognized that using a reserve parachute for the purpose of saving one's worthless, non-packing self from a gory death requires him to buy the saving rigger dinner or the bottle of liquor of his choice. These articles are ironclad and binding. For the price of an additional six-pack, a sniveling skydiver may enlist the services of an S & TA to represent him or her in a hearing where the committee will rule against that skydiver a second time.

Completing the student course of instruction

First four way

First eight way

First CRW

First time in the peas

First night jump

First kiss pass

First competition

First water jump

First naked jump

First jump on your own pack job

First dead center (measured by a judge or electronic scoring pad on a three or five cm disc)

First jump on a new main or new rig (purchased, not borrowed)

Any license, award, rating, or badge

Getting your name or photo in "Parachutist" Magazine

Gross safety violations not resulting in serious injury or death

Any jump ending in "00"

First cutaway/reserve ride

First jump from an aircraft not normally used at home drop zone

First jump at a new drop zone

First demo jump

First save (you riggers thought you were getting off easy)

Vomiting in the airplane or on another skydiver

First round canopy jump (Geez, used to be the other way around)

First broken bone

First camera jump